My first week of this next stage of my journey to health is drawing to a close and I feel as though I managed to fit a lot in. I had an hour long consultation with a new endocrinologist and I'm really happy with how it went. He was knowledgeable, listened and took the time to answer my questions. My latest blood tests were sent to his office and they confirmed that in the past 5 weeks I've had an overactive thryoid, been euthyroid and am now underactive again. Gotta love the roller coaster - not. I'm off all medication for the next 12 weeks to see where my thyroid naturally settles so it will be interesting to see where my body will end up this time.
Today was weigh in day at Weight Watchers and I lost 1.2kgs. Was I happy? No, I must confess that I was a little disappointed. Does this makes sense? No of course not, it's just my mind and my false expectations for myself playing with me. I am a master of flaying myself and holding myself up to standards and expectations I'd never dream of holding other people up to. Why is that? Do you do the same? Intellectually I know I've done well to lose that amount and to do it with a bungying thyroid and while still healing is great. Reflecting now, it was only 6 weeks ago that I was still experiencing debilitating exhaustion and sleeping for 12 plus hours per day (in sessions, not all at once) and physically unable to cope with much at all. It is only just over 12 weeks since I was on 5 weeks of bed rest. Perhaps all these years of illness and now my weight loss journey have occurred to teach me how to treat myself more kindly. To nurture and care for myself as I would others.
So with this in mind I declare this "Be kind to yourself week". I will work on treating myself with the same compassion and loving kindness I would show towards others. I will stomp on that mean, nasty voice in my head that tells me I'm a failure or not good enough and will replace it with healthier thoughts that are based in reality. I will perform one act of self care for myself everyday. How do you care for yourself? Take some time to notice your thoughts as well. Do you treat yourself as well as you do others? Be kind to yourself this week.
Edited to add.....I realise now that my scales weigh 1kg lighter than the weight watchers one causing me to think I'd lost more than I had and prompting the above mentioned disappointment and self-chastisement. Will remember that discrepancy in future.
I love reading your blog. You remind me of me. The health issues and trying to learn to nurture yourself. No, I don't think I treat myself as well as I do others. I'm a natural-born caretaker of others. I would never feel annoyed at other people as I do at myself. That's a great description: "a master at flaying myself." Keep on posting!
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