Progress

I've been struggling with motivation and focus, as you well know, and today I came upon these two pictures. Not the greatest collage assembly but it gives me a look. On the right I am attending a friends wedding in 2007. I am at my heaviest. The photo on the left was taken earlier this year and for once I can actually SEE that I have actually lost weight. I also think about how I felt in these two photos. In the photo at right I felt awful. I had a very poor level of wellbeing, was suffering from really bad fatigue and I was in pain all the time. Everything was a monumental effort and it took me months to recover from going to this wedding. Looking at the photo at left I see someone who is out being active, has thinned down and although I still struggle with the same medical conditions, my general wellbeing is MUCH improved. I needed to see this. It shows me how easy it is to really lose sight of what we've achieved and how we've progressed particularly when it doesn't fit in with the expectations we have or the pictures in our head of 'what should be.'  My progress may be slow but it is happening.

What's on my plate

I keep forgetting to record what I'm eating.  I started this blog as a way of keeping track of my journey and keep forgetting to include my food intake and a more detailed account of my exercise.  I want to be able to look back on it as a resource, a place where I can see what worked, what didn't, when I struggled, what I found easy.  Anyway, the above is my lunch which consisted of a small amount of chicken breast in cajun seasoning, lettuce, tomato and my homemade mango salsa, all in a wholemeal wrap and washed down with a small banana smoothie. The smoothie was made with 1/2 banana, skim milk and a dollop of greek yoghurt.  Yummo!

In the interests of being backwards (and not being bothered fiddling with the order of my images), here is what went on for breakfast.... I had steel cut oats - seen on right in the following image.  Basically it is the form the oats take before Uncle Toby's and other companies get their hands on them and process them until they look like the more common oats in the bowl at left.  I tried the steel cut after reading that they were higher in fibre, beneficial oils and had greater health benefits than 'regular' oats.  I quite like them although they take longer to cook.  I soak them overnight in water with a bit of keffir in it and then cook it on the stove when I'm ready for it the next morning. The steel cut oats have a nuttier taste and are not as fluffy as regular oats once cooked. 

I eat the oats with about a tablespoon of maple syrup (or maple flavoured syrup in this case), about 4 nuts cut up - usually walnuts or pecans. They provide good essential oils and extra protein to the meal. I then lightly sprinkle with cinnamon.  No, I've not forgotten milk. I eat it without and it's fine.

My weight is still coming off oh-so-slowly, at a rate that matches my thyroid and my motivation I suppose.  I've been really happy with how I've been exercising daily and eating well 90% of the time with NO MOTIVATION. None, zip, nada.  I've tried to have the mind set that I eat well and exercise daily simply because that's what I do. I'm not making good food choices, using healthy eating habits and exercising because I want to lose weight, because I'm dieting or any other reason other than the fact that this is the standard of behaviour I've set for myself.  I want these behaviours to be habits like cleaning my teeth - it's just what I do regardless of whether or not I'm motivated or happy or have the energy. I do the Nike and JUST DO IT.  This is how I thought and lived my life pre-illness and I've sort of been back in that zone these past few weeks. I've stopped focussing on Weight Watchers points, what I should be doing, overthinking and have just got in and taken action.  I'm not deluding myself into thinking that I've suddenly mastered all of my problems but if I can continue like this and string successful days, weeks and months together I really feel like I'll be heading back into familiar territory.  Territory where I existed as a healthy, fit, active person with healthy eating habits and control over my weight.  It's been a long time since I lived in that place but at least I can now see it in the distance again.

I think I'm coping much better and being more consistent because my thyroid medication is 'right' at present.  I've been on my new dosage for about 4 weeks now and I'm actually feeling rather well. Finger's crossed I continue to chuff along feeling so good and DON'T spin into hyperthyroidism again (as I usually do when medicated with thyroxine).  If I can maintain this level of wellbeing I really feel that I can make some significant steps towards reclaiming much of the lifestyle I was forced to leave behind 12 years ago (God has it been that long?), not to mention the aspects of myself  such as my vibrancy and bubbly nature which faded to nothingness during this time. They'll be friends well met when I am reunited with them again.

Weigh in day

Hello ladies! Just a very quick post to give you a progress report. Today was weigh in day and I achieved a loss and a couple of milestones along with that. I achieved my 5kg loss (total) and reached my 5% (lost from starting weight). Woohoo!! My loss for the week was 0.9kg.

As I had lost 5kgs I thought I'd get the tape measure out again and see what a 5kg loss looks like.

Chest
Week 1 113.5cm
Current 104cm
Loss of 9.5cm

Waist
Week 1 101.5
Current 93
Loss of 8.5cm

Hips
Week 1 119cm
Current 109cm
Loss of 10cm

Total cm lost 28cm! That would probably be more if I did my legs and arms today too. That's almost a foot!!

Little happy dance.

Upcoming posts (that I may get out today). A little natter and chatter about "The Stress Eater Diet". Finally! A post on what foods I eat, my attitude towards food, how I try to make my decisions when making food choices. Oh, and a post on my weekly walk. Goodness, I'd better get typing...

Hope you are all well.