Reflections on how I got here

I've put a lot of thought into how I managed to gain 30 plus kilos. I thought about it while gaining. I thought about it while preparing myself to do something about it. I continue to think about it while putting things into action and finally losing. Fortunately all of this mental ruminating has brought me greater clarity and with greater clarity comes greater control. Contributing medical conditions and treatments aside I've come up with the following so far.

• Starting life with my husband saw my food habits change. We ate out more often, my portion sizes slowly increased (particularly if Jeff served). Foods that were seldom in my home as a single person suddenly became normal to have around as Jeff enjoyed them. I of course ate them because they were there - not lots but all of this added up. Not blaming my sweetie here, just observing!
  
• Stress - oh my, was I under a LOT of stress in the first years of our relationship - work and other life circumstances, not the relationship. Stress creates physical changes in the body, raising cortisol which creates cravings, stress eating and belly fat. Oh enter the belly fat. I'd always gained weight around my bum and boobs but suddenly I developed a belly.
  
• Around this time my mobility and ability to exercise was compromised by health issues. So, my food intake was going up and my movement was taking a monumental nosedive. I realise now that the fact that I had always been active and exercised controlled my weight. Yes, I generally ate well, but 'treats' and any transgressions weren't noticeable because I moved enough to make up for it. I also realise that I used my exercise to deal with stress in my life. Suddenly, I had lost the ability to move and my main avenue for dealing with stress, emotional upsets etc.
  
• As my health deteriorated and my fatigue grew I think that I started to eat for energy. My mind was in a fog and I remember waking from afternoon naps and eating before even fully awake. Didn't work. I was still tired and just got fatter. I was also nauseous most of the time and now remember that I used to buy boxes of Jatz biscuits or Salada and I'd nibble on them to ease my tummy. I'm sure that all of this added up too.
• As my health deteriorated so did some of my food choices. Because I was not well enough to spend 5 minutes making my usual salad for lunch, I'd have a peanut butter or vegemite sandwich. I ate like this with greater frequency and my sick body needed nutrients desperately. Maximum nutrition was essential and I didn't have the energy to deal with it all the time. Bread also made me tired which made things worse.
• Since joining Weight Watchers I realised that the oil based supplements I was taking added up to a quarter of my daily points intake. How CRAZY is that! Needless to say I've made some changes there.
  
• The "Latte Effect". Living with fatigue and burnt out adrenal glands, and a coffee loving husband what did I do.....increased my coffee intake. All my coffee is milk based so that upped my daily intake of calories too. I've made changes there too (it's been easy, I'm not addicted and have had no headaches etc as a result).

All of these little behaviours that can quite insidiously enter your life and combine with health issues to create such a huge change to your weight, your health and wellbeing. Because the majority of my food choices were good - fruits, vegetables, salads and balanced meals - I found it bemusing that I was putting on so much weight and struggling so hard with it. I think I kept looking at the fact that I didn't binge or eat large amounts of junk. Portion size changes, extra treats, less activity slip under the radar and have a big impact. I've had to learn new ways of dealing with stress and emotions that didn't rely on me getting out and going for a walk. Thank goodness I was already committed to journaling, where would I have been without that?

Do you know what has contributed to your weight gain or are you as lost as I was? Have you found that understanding gives you greater control? What do you struggle with?

I've nearly finished reading "The Stress Eater Diet" (I confess to getting sidetracked by...many other books) and will endeavour to get the review out to you over the weekend. Sorry for those who've been waiting.

Today was weigh in day. I'm down another kilo which is a total loss of 4.1 and a current weight of 86.1. Only 500grams to go and I reach my 5% goal so if all goes well I should achieve that next week. Woohoo!

Hope all is well in your world everyone. You ladies out there in Blogland are a constant source of inspiration. Thank you.

Progress Report

Yesterday was weigh in day, and I'm pleased to report that I'm down 1kg this week after less than impressive results over the past fortnight. That's my biggest loss since week1. There were quite a few big losses at weigh in this week with about 6 of us losing 1kg or more. I felt thinner but was surprised to discover that I'd had such a good loss.

For those of you who LOVE numbers....

Starting weight: 90.2kg
Current weight: 87.1kg
Total loss: 3.1kg
Time taken: 6 weeks

Measurements.

Chest.
Week 1. 113.5cm
Currently 107cm
Loss of 6.5cm

Waist
Week 1. 101.5 cm
Currently 96.0cm
Loss of 5.5cm

Hips
Week 1 119cm
Currently 114cm
Loss of 5cm

R/L Upper Arm
Week 1 36.5/34.5 cm
Currently 33/32cm
Loss of 3.5/2.5cm

R/L Thigh
Week 1 63.5/63.5cm
Currently 57/59cm
Loss of 6.5/4.5

I think the tape measure is my new friend! Far more impressive than what the scale is telling me. Also explains the Simon and Garfunkel undies (Slip slidin' away).

'Snacks' was the topic for discussion this week at WW and we compiled lists of favourite snack foods then arranged them into three categories. It was very interesting to see how many things like biscuits, lollies, chocolate, chips and other such foods made their way onto the lists. This led to a quick look at how the advertising and marketing industries skilfully convince consumers that these items (and many others) are snack foods. Just head down to the 'snack foods' isle in your supermarket and see what they think a snack is. I bet next to none of it will fill you up, give you slow release energy and stabilise your blood sugar! There is no nutritional value in any of it.

These are the things I snack on...

• fruit
• nuts (limit of about 8 per day)
• low fat yoghurt
• cheese stick (not an everyday snack, but ok for a couple of times per week)
• ricotta with blueberries and cinnamon
• smoothie of berries, perhaps some other fruit, spinach (I kid you not, you can't taste it), flaxseeds, and in a base of either water, keffir or some kind of milk - cows, rice, soy.
• ryvita or with tomato or cucumber and a protein e.g. philliadelphia cheese, slice of smoked salmon or ham/chicken
• vegetable sticks and hummus

Once a week or so snacks

• home baking (I have some lower fat recipes, like baking and at least know what's in the food if I make it)
• scone with a cuppa out at the shops.
• hmmmm, can't think of anything else

Treats that aren't really snacks at all

• the occasional mini chocolate (usually with PMS). Luckily I'm not a big chocolate fan. I know, there is something seriously wrong with me!
• potato chips

I used to crave potato chips with something close to a manic intensity a few times per month. I would scoff them (with the manners of my dogs) and once I'd finished the packet I'd not need or think of them until the next craving. Interestingly some blood work found that I was iodine and sodium deficient and my GP prescribed iodised table salt. I now use that on my meals and have not had one craving or one chip since. About 12 weeks and counting now. Just not interested. Obviously my body needed something.....the salt!

What do you snack on? I'd love to hear some healthy ideas.

Sleeping with Mr Darcy

After a long and busy week I was feeling particularly weary this afternoon. I decided to plonk myself down on the couch and have a rest while watching Pride and Prejudice. I saw the scrummy Mr Darcy make his first appearance on screen and woke to the end credits. That's the third afternoon sleep I've had this week. Can't stay awake, dead-to-the-world type sleeps. I have been busier and more active than I've been for years so I won't panic yet about falling back into fatigue. Perhaps I've just overdone it.

We had a public holiday on Monday so I had to find an alternative Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in at. I've decided to attend this alternative meeting from now on as the leader was amazing, so well informed about nutrition and very entertaining and approachable. The meeting was very interactive too, we broke into groups and read nutritional panels then discussed them. Everyone was very friendly and chatty and the meeting was heaps of fun as well as informative. Ok, details for the week....I lost nothing. Not a gram. I've been a lot more active this week and have increased my cardio as well as continuing to count points. I did go over one day when we had unplanned take-away due to a blackout but I thought my extra activity would take care of it. Oh, well.

My current cardio involves me walking out the door and walking, not particularly fast for 20 to 30 minutes. I've pushed out to 30 minutes about 3 days in the past week. I also included a 45 minute bushwalk which included a small hill and I hope to do this each week. I'll keep an eye on my fatigue levels as I am hoping to push out all of my walks to 30 minutes. If I'm tired, I'll either drop the time back some days or include a second rest day. Not bad, I've gone from 10 minute walks to coping with 30 minute walks in about 5 weeks. Happy, happy, joy, joy, to be out and about being active!!

Any suggestions as to how to reboot my weight loss would be appreciated. I'd like to lose at least something next week. :) I was thinking perhaps increasing the weights I lift during resistance training to try and build some more muscle. Might help.

I'll post photos of my bushwalk when I can work out how to use my new camera and it's quirks. Hope all is going well for you all and you are staying happy and healthy.